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things i shouldn't publish 'til i'm dead


It's like riding a bike. Or whatever people say. You don't really forget how. You just convince yourself that you have forgotten. But it's all still in there. I write essays in my head all the time. Poems, songs, stories. I keep them to myself. They stay inside and I keep them safe and there's no getting them dirty or damaged. My thoughts and feelings cannot confuse or prompt concerns if they are kept close. They cannot reveal truths or make others feel feelings and that's how it seems like it should be. But then I remember that I'm only human and these thoughts and feelings turn to poison if they're held too tight and they begin to seep, and drip, and soak into everything until all of a sudden I'm drenched and sinking. So maybe I will share tiny bits. I will chip off little pieces that feel ready to be removed. And maybe you will like it, and maybe you will not. I guess we'll see.

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